Custody

Growing up, I knew I was meant to be a mom. It was the only thing I was ever sure of. I never imagined I would have to share my child and not be with him all of the time. It was something I never thought about before.

Ryder was my first real love. I had no idea I could love somebody so much! I would give this boy the world. He is so spunky, fun, and the life of the party. He was also the best baby, and I have three. So why would I want to share him with someone else? I love him too much to let him go.

Let me just say, sharing sucks. At least for me anyway. I want to be selfish and have Ryder to myself all of the time.

I wonder if things would’ve been different if I wouldn’t have listened to other people. Everyone has an opinion of what they think you should do and what would be best for you when you are going to be a single parent.

I tried to please everyone, and instead of compromising with DJ (Baby daddy), I would go off of what everyone else said.

This caused a lot of problems between DJ and I. We never had issues until everyone else found out I was pregnant.

Custody didn’t become a problem until both of us started dating other people. And of course you never like who your exes are in a relationship with.

After I got married, it made things way worse. After six months of DJ not seeing Ryder, we went to court. That was a flat out war. We hated our lawyer. The court had us do an every other weekend thing.

Fear instantly took over. Ryder had never spent the weekend with him. I questioned DJ’s abilities to be a father. We fought for a while more, but at the end of the year, when our agreement was no longer valid, we made it work for us.

Who would have thought getting along and having a plan in place would benefit us both and, of course, Ryder? Having a schedule and routine into place was great. Although depending on the girlfriend of the month, would depend on whether or not we got along.

After nine years of chaos, the past two years have been the best they have ever been. DJ and I can communicate and compromise. With us moving to Utah, we were able to come up with a schedule that works for us both in 10 minutes.

Trust me, I was just as shocked! I think a lot of it has to do with us both growing up and allowing each other to live our lives as long as we both do what’s in the best interest of Ryder.

Ryder is also old enough now that he can communicate clearly with both of us on what he wants.

So although it has been one heck of a road and a battle. I wouldn’t change it because of our growth. I wish we would have realized things sooner. But we are in a perfect place now, and I hope we can continue to make it work.

I still want to be selfish, but I know that Ryder needs his dad and loves him very much. DJ and I will continue to be in each other’s lives forever because of Ryder. So it’s just better to get along.

I know everybody’s custody situations are different, and I don’t want to tell you it will get better. Because honestly, I don’t know. I sure hope it gets better for you, though!

Just know I’m here, I love you, I’m rooting for you, and you are incredible!

Much Love,

Love,

Tiffany