Tool-Box

One of the things learned in Recovery, no matter what you are recovering from, is creating yourself a toolbox. A toolbox is something you have in your back pocket that you can use whenever you are tempted or triggered.

I have had my toolbox for a while. I even have it memorized. It was never helping me when I needed it too. It got frustrating. Granted, it was all on me. When you have a toolbox, what good does it do you if you are not taking action? I had all the tools I needed, but I was not using them when I needed to.

Something that you need to do is ACTION. You will get nowhere in your recovery process if all you do is think about it. You have to get up and do something.

Here are some things that I keep in my back pocket toolbox.

One of the things we learned in therapy for our recovery toolbox was HALT. Whenever you are feeling down, or it is just one of those off days where everything is getting to you, and you don't know why. The first thing you need to do is HALT.

H - Hungry

A - Angry

L - Lonely

T - Tired

You need to think through and recognize if any of those are why you could be feeling this way. If so, you need to fix it immediately. If you are hungry, eat. It could be a good idea to always have a granola bar or a light snack in your purse or car. I know it sounds silly that you would forget to eat. But when you are suffering from addiction or trauma, your basic needs fly out the window. So it is best to put a reminder on your phone. Write down where you can see the little things you need to do to take care of yourself. That is what is most important.

If your tired, take a nap. Maybe go to bed early that night. Talk to somebody if you are lonely. And be forgiving if you're angry.

Meditate / Prayer - Sometimes, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to slow your thoughts down. Get out of your head. Try to put things into perspective. Talk out loud to your higher power. When your driving, turn off the radio and focus on your breathing. If you're at home and it's chaotic, lock yourself in your bedroom or bathroom. Find five minutes to yourself where you can calm the chaos. Five minutes of deep breathing, meditation, or prayer is all you need to rejuvenate yourself.

Down Time - Going off of meditation... If that is not working, then what you need is a full stop! As hard it might be, you need to make this one a priority. No matter what you are doing, it needs to wait if you are at a breaking point. Spend the day to rest. Take a bath, watch a movie, play a video game, read a book, take a nap even. Use as little energy as possible. This one can be tricky, though. Think hard about if you need this or not. Make sure when you are taking your downtime, it doesn't become a full-on avoidance. I am the queen of avoidance. I have avoided problems well. It has taken me over a year to make sure I need rest, and I'm not just trying to avoid the issue.

Writing - This is a personal favorite of mine. I love writing. Growing up, it was how I dealt with a lot of problems. Journal your thoughts, fears, things you are grateful for in your life, at that very moment. Get your feelings out on paper. It helps you be able to process better. Write down things you can't tell someone else.

At Addo Recovery, we were told to start our mornings off with a brain dump. Don't even think about what you are writing, don't punctuate or correct spelling. It doesn't have to make sense. It just clears up your mind and can take away the worry. I have found this helpful to do this at night and just let go of my day.

Support System - This looks different for everybody. You need at least one person you can count on day or night. For me, my support system is my therapist. My sponsor. Group members from the support group I attend. Riley when he is safe. (Safe - Meaning, doing his recovery work, and not being in shame, or acting out.) Friends that won't judge and will listen.

Acceptance - This one is always a toughie, but I'm getting better at it. If it is something that is out of your control, try your hardest to accept it and let it go as quickly as possible. There is no need to have extra stress, anxiety, and worry over something that is out of your hands. I know it sucks, but let it be, and you will be thankful later that you did.

Affirmations - This is one of the five love languages by Gary Chapman. Something that I have learned is that you don't define your worth by other people. So don't go seeking affirmations from someone else. Look no further than within yourself. I like to read, "What I am Worth." I did a blog post on this. so if you would like to read that you can click here:

https://www.lifeunexpected.blog/post/you-belong

I also love to read my patriarchal blessing: In my religion, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we are able to receive a patriarchal blessing. A patriarch guided by the spirit will pronounce blessings, promises, and cautions that apply specifically to you. I love reading mine because it shows me how God sees me. It makes me feel worthy and loved.

Another thing I like to do is listen to upbeat, positive songs. I have a self-love playlist. Or I will put on worship music. I am always listening to music, so having access on my phone and being able to play a song anytime is easy for me. I also have a ton of positive quotes on a file on my phone that boosts my spirits when I read them. I have also downloaded three different apps that give me a positive quote every morning. That has helped as well. I can also scroll through those if needed.

Scents - This one may be the last on my list, but it is the most used, and quickly grounds me and calms my mind. Have a scent on hand. A smell that is soothing to you, and does not overpower. Such as a lavender or a vanilla scent. Some you can use are essential oils, a lotion, or an air freshener. I like the Febreze fabric spray. I love to spray my sheets, so at night when I can't sleep, I can take a deep breath in my sheets and instantly calm my mind.

Once you've used the tools from your toolbox, you should be able to MOVE.

M - Motivated

O - Open-Minded

V - Validated

E - Energized

I just came up with that one on the fly, so I hope it works!

I would love to know of things you guys keep in your toolbox. What is working for you?

I hope this has helped anyone who is struggling or stuck. Remember, You can have the toolbox, but it won't help you if you are not taking action and using it.

You got this. Keep on moving and take action. We are in your corner, and we are rooting for you. If you feel you don't have a support system like mentioned above, you have us. Reach out. We got you.

Tiffany & Riley