Addo Recovery (Coming Home)

I was on a complete high coming home from Addo. I was going to stay an extra night and leave in the morning. Riley happened to call while I was at dinner and said our house sold and we had to be out Monday. I was so excited that I drove home that night. I just had the most incredible weekend, and when I get home, I'm moving out of the house from hell. New memories, new mindset, new me.

I could not stop talking about the girls or Dr. Kevin Skinner when I got home. That caused tension between Riley and me. I did not understand why that was until a couple of therapy sessions later. So we fought about it, a lot. It turns out that I was on such a high that Riley felt left out. He didn't have an experience like I had, so he was nowhere near where I was in his recovery. He felt as if I was going to leave him behind and find a new life. Part of his addiction started to come out. Change is hard! So for Riley, although he was trying to be better, it was like his addiction kept pulling him backward.

We worked it out separately with our counselor and together with our counselor, and we were able to understand one another and feel compassion for each other. The main thing we were missing was communicating calmly. Riley and I are both stubborn, and we don't like to admit when we are wrong or hurt. We always want the other one to fix it or come forward first. That has been one of the biggest problems in our relationship. It's so hard when you don't know what to say to the other one, and you need a breather or some time to think things through. But your partner wants you to answer them now and work it out now. So because of that reason, there have been hurtful words exchanged between us. Words that we regret and can never take back. Although we are moving forward, those words still hurt. I'm so glad that through our counselor, we can process things with one another and separately that we wouldn't be able to do on our own, or as quickly.

After a lot of talking, debating, and processing, I was finally able to convince Riley that Dr. Kevin Skinner would be an Amazing therapist to work with and help us move forward together in our relationship. So we applied for the Couples Intensive in Utah. No surprise that we got in. Dr. Skinner was extremely excited to work with us, and we were not only happy to work with him and his team, but we were excited to be with other couples going through similar issues. For me, this was the major deal-breaker. If anybody would know if Riley is genuinely on the path to recovery it would be Kevin Skinner. So off we go to Addo.

Stay positive. It is worth it. Do not focus on your spouse. Focus on YOU! You are what matters.